I haven’t posted in a while so this is where I’m at.

I am happy that chemo is almost over.

I am sad that my family has to go through this. My mom and my sisters because they already went through it with Sharon with not so good results, and for my husband and kids who have to have a “sick mom” and watch my misery when I am not having a good day.

I am frustrated that I get tired just walking up the stairs. That is why my laundry is suffering. I went down to look for warm socks for Jeff to wear to work and broke a sweat rummaging through the laundry basket!

I am mad that I have gained more than 10 pounds from the steroids and from being in “chemo pause”.

And as my friend Kim from Jland put it, I am PISSED that I have breast cancer! I am also angry that anyone has to have their life disrupted by cancer. The treatment, the side effects, the emotional state it puts you, your friends and your family through. And the surgeries, the constant, doctor appointments, shots and tests.

But most of all I am grateful for my friends and family that are always there for me and understand when I ramble on about my treatment or how miserable I am.

I went to work 3 days last week. It was nice to feel good enough to go to get out of the house. I work 2 hours a day and I am exhausted after the first hour! Lol I really can’t wait to get back into shape and have energy again.

We had a good day Sunday. We went for our weekly family breakfast. This week 13 of us showed up! What fun. It’s so nice to get with the family and catch up with everyone’s week. Last week at breakfast, Jeff was talking to Sue and he said something about his “ball and chain” (me!) and Sue goes…you mean your BALD AND CHAIN!!!  Very funny Sue!!! We had a good laugh.

I have to talk about my dog Dabny. I swear he never leaves my side. He follows me everywhere! When I am sleeping or laying on the couch he is right there wrapped in my arm. He loves to snuggle. I get up and go to the bathroom, he follows me, I go to the kitchen, he follows me. Everywhere I go….he follows me. I trip on him, step on him even accidentally kicked him in the mouth the other day and heard his teeth clink, and yet….he follows me….So today I am up in Jeff’s hang out…den or whatever he wants to call it, and Dabny thinks I am leaving the room, so he races down the stairs. Then you hear him come back up the stairs because he lost me and Jeff says “hide behind the door”….so here I am a 43 year old women hiding from my dog behind the door. He walks in and doesn’t see me and goes in my bedroom, and then runs down the stairs, then back up the stairs and into Jeff’s room, then back into my room, back down the stairs and back in Jeff’s room. This went on for about 5 minutes and Dabny made 5 trips up and down the stairs franticly looking for me. Meanwhile…yes…I am still behind the door and Jeff is laughing his butt off. When he finally found me after a major hint, he jumped up on my leg and was so happy! Then I looked and I swear he had tears coming out of his eyes (unless it was just exhaustion from running up and down the stairs). I felt so bad. (Jeff put me up to it) He is 15 years old. I really don’t know what I will do without him one day. He is my buddy!

Today I will go for my 7th treatment. I feel so good right now so I am truly dreading it. I only have 1 more treatment on February 19 so knowing that makes it a little easier to take. I just want to run and hide from it. Should I hide behind the door? Hee hee.