Back from vacation and good news.

I am home from vacation. We had such a nice time. We were camping in Muskegeon on Lake Michigan for 10 days. Just a lot of hanging out with my family, bike riding, long car rides exploring, and eating! On the second night there we had a king crab leg feast. It was so good. My sister Sue deep fried some shrimp for me because she knows how much I love it.  I must have ate 30 shrimp myself. I am craving it right now. Pam and Mike had so many funny jokes to play on us.  My friends Vic and Panda came for a few days with their daughter and Megan and George came up on Thursday with the dog. We all had so much fun and it was just what I needed.

While I was camping I got a call from my son Jeffrey who said he was lost in downtown Detroit because he was going with Bonnie to pick up his marriage license. Then he told me that they would be married the following Monday. Huh What? I had my biopsy scheduled for the same time they picked to be married so they changed the time to 11:00 a.m. Monday morning. So yesterday Jeff, Bonnie, Her mother and I all went downtown and they got married in a short but very sweet ceremony. Yup Jeffrey and Bonnie are married! They will have a little party in celebration later in the year, but since the baby was born they just wanted to be a family. They are really happy and they are even going on a little honeymoon on Thursday.

Right after the wedding I had to get home and be to the doctor by 1:00. They had scheduled a biopsy for me. I went to the breast center and they did an ultra sound. The tech found a cyst, but the lump that we can feel would not even show up on the ultra sound so they are sure it is just breast tissue. They assured me that everything looked good in my right breast so they didn’t do the biopsy. Yipee! I was not looking forward to the biopsy and I am so relieved they are confident that there is nothing to be worried about. I am wondering what my oncologist has to say about this since he ordered the biopsy and they didn’t do it. I also have to talk to my surgeon and see what he thinks. Who knows they may want it out anyway. Now I just have three more procedures to get done. I am choosing to have my ovaries removed because of my high risk of ovarian cancer, I have to get my port removed, and then I have to have the colonoscopy. I didn’t realize how down I had been until the ride home in the car with Pam and I broke down and cried. I had been so scared. I was so afraid that it was going to turn out to be cancer again. I had been in such like a blank mode. I was doing things and going along with my vacation but I was really lost there for a while. Now I can move on. My hair is growing and I am feeling stronger everyday. I only had a few times on vacation where I napped all day, so I am on the comeback. I still have to decide if I am going to go back to work. Jeff wants me to quit my job and stay home and focus on our eBay sales and I also think I will be babysitting for Jeff and Bonnie.

The baby grew so much in 10 days. He is really filling out, and so much more alert. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on him when I got home. I love him so much. He is such a cutiepoo!

Biopsy scheduled but first VACATION!

I got a call from my oncologist office. They said that I needed to make an appointment with my surgeon because they want to biopsy the lump. She said that they think it is a cyst but because it is so close to the chest they don’t want to call it a cyst. A cyst sounds good to me. I went to my surgeon he felt the lump too and he wants me to have a ultrasound guided biopsy. Personally I just want the thing removed. Out of me! The thing is I am leaving for vacation Thursday and he wanted me to have it done before I left, but they couldn’t schedule it before then. Then the Breast Cancer Center calls me and tells me they want to do another ultrasound. Now I am just confused. Why do I have to have another ultrasound? I have no idea. So I have an ultrasound the day after I get back from vacation.  I have to go get my port flushed tomorrow at the oncologist office so I will be stopping by the front desk for sure to ask what the heck is going on. But ya know what? I am going on my vacation and I am not going to worry about it. I am sick of it. I just want to go and have fun and not think about cancer and that’s what I am going to do!

My cousin Linda and her family came to visit from New Jersey and we had such a nice time. They went to check out The University of Michigan, (her husband Tony is a big fan) Checked out Tiger Stadium and Comerica Park. We had a nice dinner at Pam’s house on Saturday. Then on Sunday we all went to breakfast. She has the sweetest kids and they are just beautiful. I really enjoyed their visit. I hope we can go to New Jersey and visit them next year. I wanted to go this year but it is just not working out.

I am so ready for vacation. I have the camper packed and ready to go. Jeff has to check the lights and make sure everything is working right and then off we will go! I am really going to miss my kids and baby Jeffrey. And I am really going to miss my dog too! I wish I could take him, but last year he was just a pain in the butt.

I have to go get some sleep. I have to go get my port flushed in the morning and I am not looking forward to it. It’s not that big of a deal it just creeps me out. I will be so happy to get it taken out.

OH I forgot something….My surgeon wants me to have a colonoscopy when thebiopsy ordeal is over!! OH GOD! What next! I have to say I walked out of his office with my butt cheeks clenched together! Not looking forward to that AT ALL!

I Went For My Tests

Well I went for my tests. I won’t know anything until I go to my oncologist on Tuesday. When I went in for my mammogram my sister Pam and my mom went with me. I felt so bad because they had to wait while I was in there for about an hour and a half!  I felt like I was having deja vu . It was the same thing as last year. Take a film she leaves the room, comes in takes another. I have to say it really hurt. The left side because of my surgery and radiation and the right side because of my port! She had to squish my port into the machine to get all the breast tissue up to the muscle. She tried to pull the port aside and do the films, but she came back and said, “ I know this is going to be uncomfortable for you but I have to get the film with the port in it because I am not getting all the area he needs to read the film. Whatever, I bit my lip and let her do what she had to do and thought myself, you have been through worse, you can do this. Then she came in and told me he wanted to do an ultrasound. So I go in for the ultrasound, and she has me show her exactly where the lump is. Then she finds it on the screen. Then I say…“does it look bad?” and she says…well unfortunately I can’t say anything, and the radiologist on duty has NEVER come in and talked to a patient since I have been here in 7 years! She said there are 4 radiologist and only 2 will come in and interact with the patients. (one of them I had last year and he came in and told me that I needed to have a biopsy) Then she says, ok I am going to go have him take a look at these and I will be back to let you know if I need more views. Ok so I’m waiting…..waiting….and the door opens…here she comes…and who’s behind her….OH GREAT! It’s the radiologist. He came out of his office after 7 years just for me! He says it is so close to the chest wall they are having a hard time just calling it a cyst. He has me show him where it is and they do another ultrasound and he shows me the lump on the screen that looks to be the size of a extra large pea. Then he says, “you see that white spot?, that tiny white spot has the characteristics of a cyst but I just can’t be sure, so I think you need to have it surgically removed just to be sure.” Then I say thanks and all that polite stuff, he leaves the room and the poor ultra sound girls looks at me horrified and says….“OH MY GOD! I am so sorry, I should never have said he has never talked to a patient.” At this point I am sayingto her.. “it’s ok!” and “don’t worry”, I told her it was fine and I am not any more scared than I would normally be just because he decided to grace me with his presence.

OK on to the MRI today.

We walk in and there is no one in sight. So my mom goes on a hunt to look for someone. Here comes the lady she doesn’t seem to happy to be at work….uh oh….she gives me a clipboard full of papers to fill out and sign and then my moms cell phone rings..It’s Sue she is worried about me and wants to know what’s going on. The lady looks up from her desk and says to my mom, “you can’t use your cell phone in here, so my mom gets up and try’s to walk away, and the lady say’s, “you can’t walk around with it either.” Then my mom say’s to Sue, “ I have to hang up, I’m getting yelled at!” Then my mom hangs up and make a noise like PFFTTT! I just keep my nose in the papers and stay our of it. So she calls me back to do the MRI, yes she is doing the MRI. Miss pissy pants herself! GREAT! I have to have an I.V. so she starts to look for a vein, and at that point I’m thinking, ok she’s mad at my mom and going to poke the bejusus out of me now. So I say, “sorry about the phone thing”…Hee hee. I don’t think it worked because she missed a vein twice and finally had to move to another spot on my arm and missed again, then finally got it. She did finally warm up to me because I am just so easy going and talkative that I pulled her out of her funky butt mood she was in. The test went ok. I had to lay in a tube for 30 minutes with both of my boobs hanging through holes, on my stomach with my arms over my head like superman. It was just like last time, toward the end I started freaking out a little but just stayed focused and even started thinking about going camping to keep my mind busy. I’m just glad it’s over. I hate all the testing. I know it is going to be a part of my life from now on and I hate the thought of it. It makes me angry.

On a happy note, my cousin Linda is coming from New Jersey with her family to visit this Friday. I am so excited to see her. She has kept in touch with me throughout this entire ordeal. She calls and emails me all the time. She is such a sweetheart. Her kids are just beautiful. I can’t wait to meet them. It should be a nice visit. I am really looking forward to this.

Baby Jeffrey is filling out really good. He is such a good baby. He is starting to look at things and notice things around him. He will look at me when I talk to him. I have to say I am a big goof when it comes to him. I was like that with my kids too. I love him so much. My plan is to watch him grow into a man so I have to keep fighting no matter what is thrown at me. I look into his little eyes and can’t imagine not being here to see him grow. Cancer really sucks. It makes you think of stuff like that. You can’t help it. I know my family doesn’t want to hear stuff like that but it is my reality.

I am getting the camper ready for our vacation. I can’t wait to go. I am really looking forward to it. The van broke down last week so we had to get a new radiator and a new belt put on so we should be good to go. By the time we get everything ready to pull the camper we could have gone on a tropical vacation. But I am so content camping. I love it! I plan on floating on a raft in Lake Michigan and forgetting about everything for a while. I will miss my computer. I am taking my little television though. I can’t miss Big Brother! I love that show.