Not another lump...

I have been on cloud nine with the baby and being done with treatment. That is until I went to the Oncologist on Tuesday. Everything went good, we talked about the tests I had and how they all came back wonderful, and how I am looking and feeling good. He told me that I wouldn’t have to come back to see him for 3 months and then I would have my tests again. Then he wanted to do a quick exam. He checked all my nodes to make sure there was nothing going on. Poked at my tummy, my neck, under my arm, and then my breasts. He did the left breast that is still sore and burned and raw from radiation and he was very gentle. Then he moved on to my right (the "good" one) and asked me if I have been having any issues with it…..then I told him about the tiny lump I have been feeling very deep near my chest wall. He felt it some more and then said. Yup your right there is something there. Then he sat down with his little pen and started writing stuff down in my file  He looked up and said.. “I am very concerned about this lump”…OH GREAT!!! Way to burst my happy bubble! My mom was with me, and I know she is upset. So now I have a new issue to deal with, not even a week out of final cancer treatment. My celebration has been short lived. I have to go in for a breast MRI and a bilateral mammogram in 3 weeks when my radiation burns heal. I know it’s a long time to wait but I have to heal first. I am at a place right now where I don’t even know what to think or feel. I am really hoping that this turns out to be ok. The thought of going through this again right now nauseates me. I know that I will be living with cancer following me around for the rest of my life, the worrying at every test, but not now! Not so soon! I am so worried.

On a happy note, I am enjoying my little bugaboo baby Jeffrey so much. It is just amazing to me that I am a grandma. Jeff is such a good grandpa too. He comes home from work and washes all the grime off him from the day and goes straight for the baby. We all love him so much. He will not lack for love in his life. Auntie Megan is just in love, Jeffrey’s friend Nick is here all the time to help with him too.

Pam has been coming over and helping me get organized since I haven’t had any organization in my life for 10 months. It is amazing how fast things can go down hill in a house! My basement and laundry room are a mess. Pam is like a cleaning machine. Here she is right now. She just walked in the door! Time to go clean!