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The White Tornado

I had a really nice Christmas. I felt really good. My mom on the other hand said every bone in her body hurt that day and that she prayed at church to take my pain away. Unfortunately for her it worked.  We had such a nice family Christmas. We played games and had a really nice dinner. The only problem I had on Christmas was mouth sores and my throat hurt. When I woke up the next morning my voice was gone, and it still is. It is coming back slowly.

I went for my lab work on Wednesday and my white count was at zero. My ly, mo, gr, ly#, mo#, and my gr# didn’t even register. (I don’t even know what those are but they seemed pretty concerned). They put me on antibiotics and I have to do the “stupid shot” as I now call it. I hate doing it! It doesn’t really hurt too bad anymore, just burns when the medicine is pushed in, but I just hate poking that needle into my stomach. Last night I actually prayed to my sister Sharon to help me find the courage to just do it after I kept putting it off. But I did it. And I just did it again!

I have literally been on the couch for 3 days straight. I am just exhausted. My sister Pam came over on Thursday and she is like the white tornado. She came armed with an industrial size box of garbage bags and 5 organizing bins! She went down in my basement (that I have been complaining about) and went to work. I didn’t see her for 3 hours! She did all my laundry, Then she came upstairs and scrubbed my bathroom. I just can’t thank her enough. I have not done any deep cleaning in so long.

I was talking to my sister Sue on the phone the other day and told her I was craving Reese’s Puffs cereal. It was kind of late. Next thing you know she is at my door with a box of Reese’s Puffs! I am getting way too spoiled. I may not recover from it when this cancer thing is over!! I love my sisters so much. They are always there for me.

Pam took me to Target and I had a minnie breakdown in the store. I was just so tired and I could not even shop and it was so frustrating. I was pushing along the cart and the tears just started to well up in my eyes from seeing everyone just shopping and going about their lives. It got to me. I know I will be normal again, but sometimes it just seems so far away. I really want to report some sort of fun, but the last few days have just not been fun at all. I am going to try really hard to have something positive to report to everyone! In the mean time I am going to go curl up on my couch and see what tomorrow brings. I hope everyone has a Happy New Year!

This is a link to a really nice song I found that kind of sums up how I feel.   It is the first song called Maybe Tonight, Maybe Tomorrow.  http://www.wideawake.com/www/wa_main.html

 

 

 

 

 




 

 

 




 

 


 

 

 

 

 

Comments

Anonymous said…
That's a nice crew you got there.  And how sweet of your sisters!  Makes me tear right up.  That's love in action.  Don't feel like you have to report *fun* stuff.  Chemo is NOT fun and you'll want to record what you are really going through, so a year from now, you can re-read all this and feel victorious!  You're a strong person!  And BC sucks!

Take care and relish the spoiling.  You need it and would do the same for your sisters. - Steph
December 31, 2006 at 1:09 AM
Anonymous said…
Hey Trish!
So glad you had a nice Christmas =)
Reading how your sisters are there for you...
cleaning , bringing you things you want..etc..
brings back so many memories of what my mom and
Aunt Linda...did for my Aunt Judy who had BC...they were
there at her house daily...keeping everything in order...cleaning, cooking...you name it...anything she needed. Your sisters wouldn't have it any other way...i'm sure... You deserve to be spoiled =)   Wishing you only the best in 07' Happy New Year!
Always in my thoughts and prayers....Keep praying to your sister Sharon...for strength and courage...she will come through for you and help you in your toughest times ~ she is your angel.....

Hugs..~Terri~
December 31, 2006 at 1:42 AM
Anonymous said…
Trish... Music is something that I can relate to, as I see you can too.  It speaks to me, and makes me feel so many things.  Happy, sad, wistfull, melancholy or pensive.  But, it always makes me feel "something."  Right now, it's important that you let your emotions go, and just feel what you're feeling.  You are going to survive this ordeal, and you have 4 wonderful people that gives you one of many reasons to continue fighting.
It's a tough time right now, but you are tougher than that Cancer.  Don't ever forget that.  You are a Hero!

Prayers and hugs
jackie
December 31, 2006 at 2:04 AM
Anonymous said…
Trish just remember it doesn't matter how many times chemo knocks us on our butts, what matters is that we get right back up to fight once again everytime! My Mother also experiences sympathy pains even before I can get a chance to tell her "what hurt me today" and as far as the DH goes he was making fun of the way I was walking the other day (very old ladyish walk) and later that afternoon he was having problems with his own legs! lol just call me Witchy Woman! lol We are almost done with this battle you and me and when that happens "Let the good times roll" will be the new motto for 2007....we've earned it, we deserve it!

When I had my first blood work done following my first chemo my white cell coint was .07 (normal is between 9-14) now my DR is concened because last two times it was way to high 47,000 then finally down to 25,000...he wanted to take me off of the Nuelasta shots that I get the day following chemo and have me do the shots at home like you have to do and I told him no way jose..not gonna happen so since I only have one more round of chemo he's letting me do it my way.

Just remember too that even "tough girls' like us have a weak moment from time to time and those tears are very necessary! We've survived labor and delivery- we will survive chemo and breast cancer.........We are the Warriors in Pink!!!
December 31, 2006 at 8:51 AM
Anonymous said…
Trishy, I know that Feb 19 seems like a long time away. But we'll help you through it. Then we'll really start the new year!!  Every day after that you will be stronger and healthier and this fight will be behind you. I am so proud of you and I love you. Pam
December 31, 2006 at 12:58 PM
Anonymous said…
I feel so bad for you...I know that isn't what you want..I will be praying for you..thisgs will work out i just know they will..you will beat this cancer and you will be strong and happy and you are so brave...big hugs!!! TerryAnn
January 1, 2007 at 3:32 AM
Anonymous said…
Hi Trish, :-)
Gem here. Thank you so much for taking the time to visit my journal. I saw Meg's senior pic in your previous entry....she is beautiful! :-)

I read your side bar and First thing that run to my mind was remembering my MIL had breast cancer back in 1994, she did chemo and stuff like that and now a breast cancer survivor.

After reading what you are going through, your recent comment of positive note and encouragement to my journal reminded me that life is precious to not enjoy every moment of it...that anything is possible, and to keep our eyes on the goal.

Reading this entry tells me you do have a wonderful circle of family and sisters. That was so nice and so sweet of them. (I'd be spoiled too, lol!) :-)

I will be back, Trish, and...Thank you.
Happy New Year,
Gem :-)

http://journals.aol.com/libragem007/JournallyYours


January 2, 2007 at 11:08 PM
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