On the Monday following my surgery I decided to call the office for my results. They said they were not in yet and the doctor would call me later if they came in. Jeff came home from work and we went to the store. When we came back in, we listened to our messages and there was one from my doctor, he wanted me in his office at 10:00 the next morning to talk about the biopsy results. This is where I lost it. I told Jeff that there was no way this was going to be good news. I called my sisters and they came right over. We listened to the message and analyzed the Doctor's words and tone trying to figure out if it was good or bad, in a way I already knew what it was, but was being hopeful.
August 22, 2006
My mom and sisters came with me to the Doctors. Jeff wanted to and I told him to go to work. I know it sounds mean but I knew he would be devastated to hear the news from the doctor and I told him it might not even be bad news! Dr. Turfah came into the room where me and my entourage were. (I call them that now because they are with me everywhere I go) This is when I found out I have Breast Cancer. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma Grade 3 and triple negative (which means it is not estrogen fed) It is an agressive type of breast cancer. I heard him say it. I saw my family crying, but somehow it just was not sinking in. I tried to listened to him explain what had to be done next, and when the poor guy got done, I asked him to repeat everything he just said, because I didn't hear it the first time. Then he scheduled a Sentinel Node biopsy. We left the office came home and ordered food! Yup that is how we deal with stress in our family, we eat!
Sept. 6, 2006 My first oncologist appointment.
I went to see Dr. Enrique Signori, he is so nice. I told my surgeon he better pick a good one and I think he came through for me. Trust me it was an experience. My mom and my sister Sue were with me, and they were in the room for the good the bad and the ugly! Yes they were there for my breast exam, yes they were there for my abdomen exam, and YES they were there for my RECTAL EXAM! My first one ever. Trust me I was not happy, but he said it had to be done. He told me I could kick them out and the nurse could come in. But I told them to stay. Why not. I had already lost all my dignity with all the other tests. He told me it would only take a minute and I said, "a minutes a long time." I have to tell you we laughed so hard that we still can't talk about it without laughing. During this visit I learned that I had to have radiation and chemotherapy. He also said I would have to have a port put in my chest for the chemo. My node biopsy was the next day, so he called my surgeon to see if he could squeeze in another surgery that day and put in the port a cath.
September 7, 2006
Surgery went good. I am really not that sore on the lymph node side, but the port side is really bothering me. It is just odd to have something under your skin like that. When I look down and see the bump it is a constant reminder of what is to come.
September 8, 2006
Our 22nd wedding anniversary! yup 22 years. Jeff has been doing the dishes and cleaning up. The joke is that it only took 22 years of marriage and breast cancer for him to help out around the house. I know he is having a hard time with this. The first few days after we found out, he couldn't even look at me without his eyes filling up with tears. I love him!
September 11, MRI
So by now I have had a bone scan, abdominal ultra sound, and chest x-rays and they all came back good! Now it was time for a breast MRI. I was still really sore from the surgery, I could barely lift my arms. Great another I.V. For this test you had to lay on your stomach with your boobs hanging through holes and put your arms up WAY over your head like in a diving position. It hurt so bad but what could I do. I had to lay still for about 30 minutes. My arms were shaking from the pain and I tried to be as still as I could or they would have had to start over. I laid there forcing myself to think about anything but what was really happening. There were banging sounds and beeps and I felt like I had been abducted by aliens. They give you earplugs so it isn't too loud. When they came in and said I was done I couldn't get up out of there fast enough.
Next day back to Dr. Signori.
Today I found out that the lymph nodes are clear! They told my family after surgery that the preliminary test was good, but I was still waiting to hear the final results and was really happy to hear they were good.
MRI showed that there is something that they are going to recheck in about 4 months. He said it could just be scar tissue from the surgery. On this visit he told me when my chemo would start, and set me up to talk to a chemo nurse. So my entourage and I went to talk to the nurse. My first chemo will be September 25 at 2:00. So now I have a treatment plan. The nurse scheduled another test called a MUGA test to check my heart to see if it is strong enough for the chemo.
Another test? Great! I had to have another I.V., by this time I have had enough nuclear medicine shot into me that I am pretty sure I'm starting to glow. They tried 3 times to get a good vein and finally they got it. I laid there like a good girl, still as can be, only this time it was different, I was getting pissed off. I was lying there thinking why is this happening to me! When I was done I got up, went to my car and finally broke down. I was crying because I was mad, not because I was feeling sorry for myself but because I had already had enough and it really hasn't even started yet! By Friday I was still in a pissy mood. I kept apologizing to everyone that I was pissy too. They understand I guess. Now I am just waiting for Monday to get here so I can go to my chemo class. It's getting closer and I am getting nervous.
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XOXO to you and yours!