My Breast Cancer Story, Eleven Years Later...here I go again.

  It's 11:00 and here I sit at the computer looking back on the last year. It was a hard year for our family and I am glad to say SEE YA to 2007!!! I am going into the new year feeling fantastic. My hair is growing more and more each day and my body is finally starting to feel good again. I can walk up the stairs without my legs giving out on me and I feel so good I am going to start exercising! I am going into 2008 with my head held high as a cancer survivor. My wish is for everyone to have a happy and healthy New Year. My New Years Eve has been spent eating shrimp pasta, having a glass of wine and watching my grandbaby learn to crawl! I couldn't ask for a better night. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!  

  I lost yet another friend this week to breast cancer. The journal world is mourning the loss of Kim from  I Shaved My Legs For This .  Even though I never met her face to face, we supported each other through our long months of treatment. We sent each other encouraging emails while we were going through chemotherapy. An email went unanswered recently so I knew there had to be something wrong.   I went to visit her journal and I saw all the comments left that she had passed away. I spent the day going back and reading parts of her journal. She had such a sassy attitude towards her fight with breast cancer and she was so confident that she could beat this. It is just a shame that cancer has won. Her journal was honest, brave and humorous. She had a lot of readers who followed her through her fight and I know they are going to miss her. I am so sorry for her family and her children. She wrote about the love for her husband and their love for going to the lake a...

Saturday was a sad day. I had to go to a funeral for a good family friend. She lost her battle with breast cancer Wednesday morning. She was diagnosed early this year and she is already gone.  I just can't believe it. It seems like I just talked to her and gave her words of encouragement. I am trying to understand how this could happen. She has a lovely daughter who is in college and she is just the sweetest girl. She was a single mother and before her Daughter went off to college you would see them together and they would always be smiling. Walking into the funeral home was so hard for me and my family. Her older sister was my sister Sharon's best friend growing up and her family gave us so much support during Sharon's illness. Now there we were grieving with them. I am just so sad over this and I am having a really hard time with it.   Going to the funeral was really hard. Sue was getting mad at me because I would say things like, if anything ever happens to me I don...

It's been a while since I have done this.  I have been so busy lately with little Jeffrey. He is keeping Grandma hopping. He is at such a fun stage. I baby-sit almost every day and I love it. He started to eat baby food a couple weeks ago and it was a big event in the house. As soon as we heard that he could start on food, we went to the grocery store and stocked up on teeny tiny jars of food. I think Jeff picked out 15 jars! He was so funny. Bonnie and Jeffrey gave him peas first because we heard if you give them the yucky stuff first instead of something good they will be more likely to eat it later. He made the funniest faces and gagged a couple times. It was too cute. I made a decision about work. . I‘m not going back. It was hard for me to finally go in and tell them, but I think I am doing the right thing. Now I keep second guessing myself. I think it is the fact that I have been working there for 10 years and I really did enjoy the people I worked with. Jeff just wants me ...

My friend Jacqui came in from New Zealand! We had a wonderful visit. My family picked her up from the airport two weeks ago. When we got there we were hoping we were in the right place. I went over and was talking to a security guard and Megan goes, “mom there she is”. She saw us jumping up and down and started walking really fast towards us. We hugged and cried and it was the most amazing thing. We thought we would never see each other after 6th grade and there she was 32 years later. We stayed up and talked for a long time the first night. Since I am still recovering from surgery I was pretty limited to what we could do but we did end up going out with the help of my family because I couldn‘t drive. My mom took us on our first shopping trip and we had so much fun. I used the carts they have in the stores so I didn’t have to walk. We also went to the zoo and to Frankenmuth and Megan pushed me around in a wheelchair. One night I planned a get together at the local bar ...

I’m home. I came home Sunday afternoon. I can’t just go in and have surgery, I have to have every complication that comes along with it. But the good news is I am doing good now. My mom got here Tuesday and had me to the hospital by 5:00 a.m. I didn’t sleep all night. I just stayed up because I was so nervous. The doctor came in and explained just what they were going to do and that is when I learned that I wouldn’t be having the laparoscopy surgery, they were going to do a bikini cut. Uggg….. The anesthesiologist came in and asked me if I wanted a epidural instead of having to have morphine afterward. I get really sick on pain meds so I had the epidural. I was so scared but they came in and put something in my I.V. and I don’t even remember them doing it. But I do remember wheeling into the operating room and seeing about 5 people getting things ready for the surgery, and what looked like a mound of tools on a cart! I woke up asking a ton of questions, “am I done?, is it over, am I ...

Hi, this is Trish's daughter, Megan. I'm just giving a quick update to let everyone know that her surgery went well. However, she is still in the Hospital. She was suppost to come home Thursday but they have kept her because of breathing problems. She was also suppost to come home today, but they are keeping her until her breathing improves. Just wanted everyone to know... Love, Megan.

Just a quick entry. I am getting ready to go in for surgery. I have to be there at 5:00 a.m. Surgery is at 7:30. My mom is going to go with me. Jeff can't take off work so he will come and see me when he gets off work. I think I have to be there a couple days. I am not looking forward to this but I know it has to be done. I have done so much in the last week. When I was going through chemo , I would lay on my couch and dream about getting the painting done so now it's done! My living room and Megan's room both have been painted. My mom, Sue and Pam all came over Wednesday and helped with the living room. I was walking in circles with a paint brush in my hand. lol . I HATE painting. Sue and my mom came over and stripped the border off the wall and started painting the windows. Then Sue had to leave for a while and left and me and mom there wondering what to do next so we did a second coat on the windows. Then I said to my mom..."don't worry, when Pam gets here she ...

Wow. It's been a while. I have been so busy! I have been working and getting things done around the house that I haven't done in a year! All the sudden my eyes have been open to my surroundings again, and I'm not liking what I see! When I was sick I didn't see it. I painted the bathroom last week and then I painted the hallway ceiling. I think I over did it though because this week I have zero energy. It has been so hot here and that doesn't help.  Sue and Pam are coming to help me finish up. Thank god for them!! I hate asking for help, I always did everything myself but I just have to come to realize I don't have the energy like I used to. I found out last week that I am going to have surgery a week from today.  I am going to have a Oophorectomy and probably a complete hysterectomy. It is all for preventative reasons. I am at a high risk for cancer in those areas so the doctors recommend it. I still don't know how I feel about it yet but it will be less wo...

A lo t ha s gone on. Mom ha s recovered from diverticulitis . She was so sick. I was so worried. She would get better and then BAM, she would get sick again. She had a long hospital stay but I am glad to say that she is doing so much better. I had my por t removed on Wed n esday. I am s o happy t o have it gon e . I t ’s no t t h at h a s bothered m e but i t was ju s t there an d i t was a nuisa n ce. I ha d to have it flushed every four w eeks and it would ache sometimes. So I am j us t glad i t ’s gon e . I also had to have a colonoscopy the same day. OMG if you ever ha d one I don’ t even have t o explain about the day before a nd the misera b le “prep” as they call it. I had to drink th e magic potion at 2:0 0 . After I choked it down I was sitting there thinking. Hmm, maybe the m ise r y everyone talks about won’t be so bad for me, I mean I hardly ate anything yesterday and I haven’t been on anything but liquids since I woke u p this morning, Every t hing was go...

My mom’s in the hospital! She is really sick. She went in with stomach pain on Friday and has been in since then. They diagnosed her with diverticulitis. That is the same thing Jeff had 2 years ago only his ruptured. She has an obstruction that is causing the pain and the way they treat it is, no food or liquid. She has not eaten anything in 5 days. She is doing ok one minute then terrible the next. It is so hard for me to see my mom like this. She is breaking my heart. A surgeon came in today and said that they will continue to monitor her. She drove herself there on Friday, (which I am still not happy about) but she said she didn’t want to bother any one until she knew what it was. I was leaving for camping and she didn’t want to ruin my trip! I got a call from Mike and he told me. I didn’t know what to do because we were pulling out of the drive way. We were only going an hour away so my family told me to go and set up the camper and then they would let me know what was going on. I ...

let it go, let it roll right off your shoulder don't you know the hardest part is over let it in, let your clarity define you in the end we will only just remember how it feels our lives are made in these small hours these little wonders, these twists & turns of fate time falls away, but these small hours, these small hours still remain let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you let it shine until you feel it all around you and i don't mind if it's me you need to turn to we?ll get by, it's the heart that really matters in the end our lives are made in these small hours these little wonders, these twists & turns of fate time falls away, but these small hours, these small hours still remain all of my regret will wash away some how but i can not forget the way i feel right now in these small hours these little wonders these twists & turns of fate these twists & turns of fate time falls away but these small hours these small hours, still remain, still r...

I went to the Oncologist last Wednesday and he reassured me that everything is fine! I am so happy. I have been so worried but he walked in the door and I said, “hi, it’s your two favorite people” (me and My mom) and he said your right! Then he said “congratulations!” Your MRI came back clean! I don’t have to go back and see him for 3 months. You don’t know how happy that makes me. I am so sick of that place. He said to go ahead and make the appointments to get my port out and he also thinks it is a good idea like my surgeon suggested that I get the colonoscopy at the same time. I have to call and make the appointment this week. Yay! I get to have my port out. Besides the boy haircut I have the port is one of the last remaining reminders that I HAD breast cancer. I like saying HAD! He also put me on some medicine for the neuropathy that I am having. (arms and feet going numb) He said it is nerve damage from the Taxotere. That was one of the chemo drugs I was on. I also have to take Cen...

I am home from vacation. We had such a nice time. We were camping i n Musk e geon on Lake M i chigan for 10 d ays. Just a lot of hanging o ut w ith my family, bike riding, long car rides exploring, and eating! On th e second ni g ht there we had a king crab leg feast. I t was so good. My sister Sue deep fri e d some s h rimp for me because she knows how much I love it.  I must have ate 30 shrimp myself. I am craving it right now. Pam and Mike had so many funny jokes to play on us.  My friends Vic and Panda came for a few days with their daughter and Megan and George came up on Thursday with the dog. We all had so much fun and it was just what I needed. While I was camping I go t a call from my son Jeffrey who said he was los t in do w ntown Detroit because he was going with Bonnie to pic k up his marriage l i cen s e. Then he told me that they would be married the following Monday. Huh What? I had my bi o psy sch e duled for the same time th e y picked to be marr...

I got a call from my oncologist office. They said that I needed to make an appointment with my surgeon because they want to biopsy the lump. She said that they think it is a cyst but because it is so close to the chest they don’t want to call it a cyst. A cyst sounds good to me. I went to my surgeon he felt the lump too and he wants me to have a ultrasound guided biopsy. Personally I just want the thing removed. Out of me! The thing is I am leaving for vacation Thursday and he wanted me to have it done before I left, but they couldn’t schedule it before then. Then the Breast Cancer Center calls me and tells me they want to do another ultrasound. Now I am just confused. Why do I have to have another ultrasound? I have no idea. So I have an ultrasound the day after I get back from vacation.  I have to go get my port flushed tomorrow at the oncologist office so I will be stopping by the front desk for sure to ask what the heck is going on. But ya know what? I am going on my vacation a...

Well I went for my tests. I won’t know anything until I go to my oncologist on Tuesday. When I went in for my mammogram my sister Pam and my mom went with me. I felt so bad because they had to wait while I was in there for about an hour and a half!  I felt like I was having deja vu . It was the same thing as last year. Take a film she leaves the room, comes in takes another. I have to say it really hurt. The left side because of my surgery and radiation and the right side because of my port! She had to squish my port into the machine to get all the breast tissue up to the muscle. She tried to pull the port aside and do the films, but she came back and said, “ I know this is going to be uncomfortable for you but I have to get the film with the port in it because I am not getting all the area he needs to read the film. Whatever, I bit my lip and let her do what she had to do and thought myself, you have been through worse, you can do this. Then she came in and told me he wanted to do...

I have been doing really good and I am feeling so energetic! It’s nice to feel good. I know a lot has to do with having baby Jeffrey around to snuggle on whenever I want to. He is just an absolute doll. All he does is  eats, sleeps, and poops at this stage! That’s it! He is starting to have a little more awake time in between feeding and I love holding him and looking into his eyes wondering if he can see me and I keep saying, “I’m Grandma”. I have been getting the camper ready for our camping trip. I can’t wait to go.  Pam, Mike and my mom, and Sue and Steve are going too. Our campers are all in a row. It is right on Lake Michigan. I am really looking forward to it. I have Bonnie all set with the bottle routine and things like that. I love making the bottles for her though. I remember when Jeffrey was born I used glass bottles and had a steam sterilizer that I would cram everything into. She is doing the platex drop ins and they are so easy. We just boil some water and...

I have been on cloud nine with the baby and being done with treatment. That is until I went to the Oncologist on Tuesday. Everything went good, we talked about the tests I had and how they all came back wonderful, and how I am looking and feeling good. He told me that I wouldn’t have to come back to see him for 3 months and then I would have my tests again. Then he wanted to do a quick exam. He checked all my nodes to make sure there was nothing going on. Poked at my tummy, my neck, under my arm, and then my breasts. He did the left breast that is still sore and burned and raw from radiation and he was very gentle. Then he moved on to my right (the "good" one) and asked me if I have been having any issues with it…..then I told him about the tiny lump I have been feeling very deep near my chest wall. He felt it some more and then said. Yup your right there is something there. Then he sat down with his little pen and started writing stuff down in my file  He looked up and s...

Yay! Bonnie had the baby! What a little cutie poo. He is just adorable. She started having back labor on Wednesday and so about 8:00 Wednesday we took her to the hospital because it was getting pretty intense. They sent her home and said she wasn't dialated. At about 12:15 Jeffrey came running into the kitchen saying Bonnie's water broke, so back we went! She was dialated to 1 so the waiting began. By 3:00 in the morning she was at 2, and by 6 she was only at 4....so we waited...the doctor came in about 8:00 and said she was at 10.  She pushed for 1 hour and 45 minutes and the baby was born at 10:06 Thursday June 14! It was so exciting. I was in the room with her and so was her mom and Jeffrey. I stood by her head and grimased at every push! At one point she look at Jeffrey and in a cute little cry for sympathy said.."why did you do this to me"? She had the death grip on his head and I even saw her grab onto his hair...LOL. Here I am saying.."come on Bonnie, you ...

I know it’s been a while. So much has been going on!  First of all I did the Relay for Life on the 2nd of June. We had a little rain but it was a wonderful day regardless. I got a medal and 1 strand of beads (you get one for every year you are a survivor). I held the banner for the survivor lap and I was fine until I passed my family and looked their way and they were all crying, then I lost it. We walked all the way around the track and then the caregivers join us for another lap. It was very emotional. I made it about halfway around the second lap then I was exhausted! After that I went to the survivor luncheon with Jeff. It was really nice.  My friend Denise who is also a cancer survivor had a shirt on that said, "I am dedicating this relay to Trish Ehrenberg." I was so touched by that. It made me cry. That was so sweet and I think about it every day. I really wish we would have taken a picture together. We had so many people come out to support our team, and we raised ...

I’ve had 26 radiation zaps already! I can’t believe how fast this is going. I am getting a little crispy and it is really getting sore but I can handle it. You can see just where they are doing the radiation. It is like a bad sunburn that goes under my arm at where the lymph nodes were removed and goes across and under my breast. I have 3 more regular radiations and then I am getting 8 boosts. This is where they concentrate just on the spot where I had the lumpectomy. I was set up for that on Tuesday. The doctor came in and made all these dots all over me and then one of the guys that does my radiation came along and played follow the dots with permanent marker. So now I have a big black circle on my boob. It has to stay there for the rest of treatment. They touch it up everyday, plus he put something on it to make it more permanent. I start at the new place on Tuesday and I am going to miss the guys that do my radiation. I see them everyday! They have become a part of my life! They a...

Well Megan had her prom. She was a bit of a promzilla but in the end she looked beautiful and everything turned out nice. I had radiation that day so I got home just in time to do her hair. She only has 6 days of school left and then she graduates. I still can't believe it. She still isn't sure what she wants to do after school and I am not going to push her into going to college even though I know she should. She has some time to think and I hope she figures something out. She knows what I think she should do.... lol I had radiation #19 today and I am starting to get a really good tan! lol . It is so weird you can see exactly where they are doing the radiation. Today I found out they are sending me somewhere else to finish up because they will be doing maintenance on the machine at the hospital. I am kind of bummed because I am so used to going there and I love all the people, but I am sure everything will be fine where they are sending me. I am also bummed because the ma...

I had a good Mother’s Day. My kids made sure they told me how much they appreciate me and Jeffrey gave me some beautiful flowers, a candle and a mini food processor. Bonnie gave me some wind chimes and a really nice card. Megan rubbed my legs and feet and we talked about the prom coming up this Friday. I went grocery shopping with Jeff Sunday. It is getting to be a chore once again like when I was on chemo but it had to be done. I have not gone in a couple weeks because I have ZERO energy. I get winded just walking around my house. Today I had radiation number 14 and they could tell when I walked in the door how fatigued I am. They said it was one of the major side effects of radiation. It is no where near as hard as chemo but it does have it’s side effects. I am starting to get red and sore. Today when I woke up I was ready to crawl back in bed again. I showered and got dressed and went to my appointment. I was on the elevator and was on the verge of tears because everything is ...

I’m going along good with radiation. I am getting a little sore and my arm feels like it weighs ten pounds but I am good. I asked the doctor about it and she said that it is probably because I have to raise my arm way over my head and hang onto a pole everyday. I have some shooting pains every now and then on my left side under my arm and on my breast where they are focusing the radiation. The one thing that is driving me crazy is the fatigue. It is so bad. I get extremely tired throughout the day. I am also still having some side effects from chemo. I am so frustrated with my body. I have a hard time getting up after I have been sitting. My legs shake and then my knees and hips just don’t want to move. Once I get going I am good, but it is painful. She said it could take up to a year to get back my strength. A year! I don’t have a year, I have a grandbaby coming that is going to keep me hopping. I got some practice with that because I am watched my 3 month old great nephew. I forgot h...

Boy oh boy oh boy! What a week it has been. My emotions have been all over the place. The minor stuff I can handle, like my fridge still being broke, and how much it is going to cost to fix it. It is the main board that controls the fan that was out so I have to get it replaced. I am not too fond of the guy that is fixing it but since I already paid them to come out and just look at it so I am stuck now having him fix it. If your wondering why I am not so happy with the guy..he just made a really stupid remark about cancer to me and I handled it good but when Jeff heard he was so pissed off! He called the company and told on the guy. I didn’t want him to but he was extremely mad. If you want to know what he said email me and I will tell you. I called and told them that my husband wanted someone else to come and do the work but he is the only one that works on refrigerators. Whatever. I am going to be so embarrassed when he comes back…not for me but for him! Some people just don’t thin...

I’ve had 3 zaps and so far I’m doing good. Monday I start on a regular schedule so that is good. I have so many appointments lined up for the next couple weeks. Radiation is a breeze so far and everyone there is so nice. I have fallen into kind of a depressed mode lately. I don’t know why. It’s just not like me. I think when you go through something like this you keep going and doing everything you have to do to get better and it all just catches up with you after a while. I am frustrated because my mind feels good but my body is just not like it used to be. I can’t just bend over and pick up my dogs toy like I used to because now it takes everything I have to get up again. I walk up the stairs and have to stop at the top because I am exhausted. I walk down the stairs and my knees just don’t want to work. Chemo does a number on your body. Then coming off of all the steroids after you have been on them for 7 months is hard to adjust. I have lost 7 of the 20 plus pounds I gained from th...

I waited ten days to hear from someone about starting radiation and this morning I get a call saying, can you be here at 11:45? Yikes no time to think! I was really nervous about it. I called my mom and she came to my rescue. Today was actually a dry run, I start tomorrow and I don’t really have a schedule yet. I have to do it at their convenience because there are no regular time slots open. So starting tomorrow I will go everyday except Saturday and Sunday for 7 weeks for a total of 35 treatments. That means I will end some where around June 12. I heard it takes longer to change your clothes than it does to do the treatment. Today I had to lay on the table in the little form they made for me and this huge machine rotated around me and they made sure everything was lining up right. They also gave me a little bar code on a card that I have to scan everyday and it lets them know I am there for treatment. Then I go into the changing room and change into my lovely gown. Then I just wai...

I went to work today and aside from my joints being stiff I did really good. I was a little tired when I got home but still managed to go to the deli and get some stuff done around the house afterward. We have needed a new kitchen faucet for about 4 months now. It worked, but the hot water handle was broken so every time I needed to use it I had to reach under the sink and turn it on from there. Yes my man can put in windows but he’s no plumber. Yesterday we went to Home Depot and bought the new fixture. Today when I came home from work it was sitting on the kitchen table and I walked by it about 5 times and then decided I was going to fix it myself! I crawled under the sink and turned off the water and then went and got a pillow to lay on and crammed myself under the cabinet and started wrenching. I got the first nut off no problem, but the other ones were stubborn. When Jeff came in from work all he could see was my feet stinking out from under the sink. I was so determined to d...